Breathing Without Air
“Breathing Without Air,” comprises the hardships of mental illness.
breathe
Sometimes I can't
Breathe,
In fact,
For as long as I can remember
I haven't been breathing.
Which sounds absurd
Because I’m standing here,
I am breathing.
But that’s not what I mean.
See when I breathe in
I am shaking
and when I breathe out
I am breathless.
So when no amount of
Ins and outs
Satisfies you,
Are you really breathing?
Bring myself to
Awaken.
There’s comfort in my slumber.
As the moment I open my eyes, I realize
this is forever.
But you can’t tell
when in fact I am
breathing, breathing.
My air is filled with fear.
I breathe in dread,
of what's to come .
I am left with its skeletons
gasping for its return.
Fear.
I wonder,
Suddenly,
the world is sapphire again.
The noise,
neglected.
My frame,
imbedded into the cushion.
Luring me into
tenebrosity.
In a world full of
animosity.
And i can hear,
the lachrymose
in the air.
Filled with
azure,
egyptian,
blue.
And i am there,
but i am not here.
For i,
now immobile,
realize,
That suddenly,
the world is sapphire again.
Mother has always wanted me to be a ballerina
I would like nothing more than to be one
Thin legs, hourglass figure
To be light enough to be lifted in the air but strong enough to balance uproar
I own a small ballerina music box and she twirls, oh, so gracefully
Her blonde hair, her long thin legs, collar bones, blue eyes, and
perfect body
With Bach in the back and a permanent smile
How could I not want to be her?
I am nothing like her
The body, the face
I figure, just maybe if I stopped eating
Maybe if I do, mother will be proud of me
I want to disappear
To be forgotten
Who I am now, I’d like to abandon
I’d like to drive off far away until I am completely lost
For people to forget and stop looking
To restart and relearn and be someone other than me
I’m tired of me
And I wish the wind blew me far, far away
Comments
Post a Comment